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| Lost Lovers Ball |
'I've been roaming around
Always looking down at all I see
Painted faces, fill the places I can't reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you, and all you know, and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you’
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I am definitely a pack animal. Who/What are you?
On the eve of St Valentine's Day this year I shall be helping overnight in a homeless shelter. The dispossessed and often un-loved will temporarily become a part of my world every Tuesday night for six weeks. I shall as I always do, encourage them to talk if they want to, when they wander out from their makeshift camp beds unable to rest. I will listen in amazement to the often heartbreaking, unbelievable stories, the twists of fate that took those humans like me onto the streets and made them so vulnerable. The unhappy life situations that sometimes defy logic to take away personal control. I am blessed - able to walk blearily home when the breakfast shift arrives, back to Jeanie world. Humbled and reminded how close we all are in reality to the potential of our lives collapsing like a house of cards.
Back in The Blue House, I faithfully and happily create little shrines to enduring love around my home. I ignore the onslaught of the financially driven Hallmark spend-fest, the one that dwells on the need to invest in just one ’significant other’ in our lives. Instead I take time to be thankful for the myriad of different personal relationships in my life;The good, bad and downright indifferent kind.
The soul feeding, joyous, uplifting kind….
The toxic kind that requires ‘social pruning’ as one girlfriend calls it, to prevent it from ruining your life.....
..I have a memory from years ago flash up like a lightbulb in my mind. It is of someone telling me in the heat of the moment that he didn’t like me - never had, never will. Despite my initial urge to tell him to ‘**ck-off then!’, I calmly replied that if he ever did get to the point in his life where he changed his mind, I would be there for him. He replied that he didn’t need people, didn’t need friends, didn’t need anyone. Didn’t care. I have never forgotten those words.….What a sad, alienating life view he has. ‘No man is an island’ - who wrote/said that? I can’t remember, but it is so, so true. Life is a team effort… Preferably with lashings of hugs, cuddles, inappropriate, scabrous, gossipy, laughing-till-you-wee connectivity, fizz, chocolate, coffee, tea, babies, dogs, cats…..Have I missed anything out?
I personally thrive on human contact and connection. My family, friends, neighbours, community - Hell every single day even my Facebook and Instagram ‘virtual friendships’ thrill me, lift me up, inspire me, keep me on my toes, make me laugh and cry.…My door is always open literally and metaphorically,(sometimes because I forget to close it, has to be said!) and there is always fizz chilling, vodka/tequila in freezer, kettle on, ready to share what I have. To provide you with whatever you may need dear humankind…
The unexpected frisson of random encounters with total strangers on planes, trains, in the street, dog walking in the park, help to maintain my sometimes jaded, severely tested faith in the belief that there is always balance to be had between the good and bad in humanity. Enriching and life enhancing.
Why wouldn’t you want/seek that connectivity?
I have recently received some tearful photos from our love child who is working in Kenya at the moment, from an orphanage she has visited. She says: “I had this little three month old cuddled up to me. Just needed some contact.” No **it Sherlock - We are programmed to seek comfort, connectivity, support from one another right from the beginning. Babies are programmed to do it for survival. Why would we believe that human kindness is not necessary once we are self-reliant? I guess the hardest price to pay for loving and being loved, of letting people in, is loss. Loss through abandonment, rejection, bad judgment, bad luck, relationship break down, geography or ultimately, the big one - death. By not connecting, it's possible that you save yourself the pain of having to process emotionally testing things, but the loss of and to humanity is far, far greater.
My family and friends will be attending the funeral soon of my husbands parents. They had a long and fulfilling life together, made babies, worked, travelled, had great friends, neighbours and church family. They dealt with the vissitudes of life, then died within five days of one another. No better tribute to the human endeavour and spirit.
I glance at our animals; Lu-Bear the DoodleDog and Ozzie the Romanian refugee cat, different species snuggled up together on the sofa (yes, I know it’s because its sooooo cold at the moment, but lets try and keep the romantic illusion in tact!). Nature says they are enemies, but in this environment there is no need to be….They both have all they need to avoid conflict. Their humans willingly and lovingly provide it for them…. In return, they give us unconditional(if food based) love and warm snuggles... We in return dress them up in silly clothes and have endless pleasure taking photos of them… win/win really. I think there is a life lesson in there somewhere......*insert your own answer*
In conclusion:Love one another.
Go and hug-a-hoodie…
Phone that grumpy relative…
Invite that snarky neighbour round for a glass…
It will make the world a better, more loved up place.
Or maybe not.....xx
