The Invisibility Myth part 11: Coffin Dodgers Bus Tour

Advantages of Age Bus Tour. Photo Elainea Emmott

“Excuse me love - are you on the coffin dodgers bus too? Says the pink haired lady with a rubber duck headress… I have arrived at Sloane Square London and it is buzzing with exuberant self-expression and colour. The Advantages of Age dynamic duo of  Rose Rouse and Suzanne Noble

Suzanne Noble. Photo:Elainea Emmott

Rose Rouse. Photo: Elainea Emmott

have got together this event funded by The Arts Council held atop a vintage London Routemaster Bus. Us folk are invited to celebrate what it is to be from the baby boomer generation. Oh what a joyous life-affirming ‘OutAgeous’ sight greeted my arrival; Flamboyant Ladies and a spattering of Chaps 40-80 years young, dressed to thrill, draw attention, be visible, connect, make new friends, greet old ones, grow empowered.  Rose and Suzanne are the vanguards of a zeitgeist global movement of ordinary extraordinary older people who are showing that there is no time between now and infinity to waste with your feet up. Rose and Suzanne - you Ladies sure do lead by example!

 Worlds End

the invisibility myth

I dug out this photo of my East London Grandma and her sisters in the 1950’s.

 They would have been roughly the same age as this shit kicking group and it made me squeal out loud: Fanny-Eliza, Saphire-Matilda and Charlotte Louisa would be horrified by such behaviour… They would have seen us as a group of brazen hussies as we waved and screamed from the open top bus as it caroused around London, making stops to strut our stuff, have photo ops, drink fizz, dance and LAUGH - oh how much laughter there was. Good job I have a strong pelvic floor, or the summer rain wouldn’t have been the only thing running across the floor! Embracing 60 plus for me is about living a life far removed from Fanny, Min and Lil, whilst acknowledging that they were the pioneers of the freedom I never, ever take for granted. I love them, they are my roots, but…… 

Shrinking violets...

Lets be honest, through financial necessity many of us will be working in some form or another till we attend our own funeral parties, (Flamboyant Funerals as one FB thread suggested) hopefully doing what we love, so why shouldn’t we be having as much fun in our own way as the young ‘uns? This world needs hashtags like: livefastdieold, advantagesofage, notdeadyet, ageingcanbefun, theinvisibilitymyth. With the challenges that we face as we grow older, we need this diverse, inclusive global community network of our own, with it’s shared ethos of supporting each other whilst endeavouring to live our individual lives to the fullest. My flame has not dimmed with age, it is roaring, occasionally with the need for medication, but still… I strive to empower the young people in my life by being a role model who is visible, opinionated, empathetic and hopefully a bit wise. They should be seeing that there is much to look forward to in their own dotage if they keep on keeping on.

This highly visible, glorious movement is not just colourful, entertaining fun, it’s also about connectivity, community and support, so I say it again: Fuck Invisibility!

The Invisibility Myth part 7 - Warrior Women!

                                                         💫We are Warrior Women!💫

A Lesson in whipping technique - as you do......

  ➨"This is an emerging generation unlike any in history.  Not only is it the wealthiest and the most storied, it is also the first generation to reach mid-life and believe that they are only half way though”

David Harry Stewart, Ageist.   

YES WE ARE! 

  ➨ I have been contacting people all over the global village, asking them to answer the same dozen life questions I have carefully crafted for my Invisibility Myth project.  Most of the women are unknown to me, other than by their Instagram feeds, word of mouth, or contacts via friends and family. As the responses ping into my inbox, I realise what a huge leap of faith and trust I am expecting from these women.  My goodness, what warrior’s!!! 

➨Their answers have been nakedly honest and give hints to what adversity they have been through in their lives in order to arrive at where they are post fifty.   I am in awe observing these ordinary extraordinary women simply cracking on with their multi-tasking lives.  Seeing their positivity and willingness to embrace so much more in mid-life than our grandparents generation did in their entire lives. I am witnessing the variety of indomitable strength of character and humour shining through each and every set of answers. I am really excited at the prospect of sharing them on my website: theinvisibilitymyth.com very soon now, so that I can add to the debate of the mid life invisibility theory….

  ➨ I suddenly realised that I haven’t answered the questions myself that I have been posting to other women. I have now, and by so doing I am aware how different those questions look from the perspective of interviewee rather than interviewer.  To be honest I found out a couple of well buried things about myself. By letting my responses flow from my heart, stuff came through that I was unaware of feeling in any depth. It proves (if indeed it needs to be) that we are never to old to learn, especially about ourselves……..

 

Interesting comment

     ➨I spend a lot of time at the moment on social media, in the interests of *coughs* - research…Yeah, like its not my daily/nightly obsession anyway….So, I took a momentary pause for thought after reading  this interesting ladies’ Lifestyle blog; thebarefacedchic.co.uk  Cardiff based Michelle Lyndon-Dykes wonders in her ‘Are all bloggers turning into a cliche?’ post, whether we are effectively slaves to the machine driving algorhythms feeding us what they think we like. According to the media, marketing companies know us better than we know ourselves…… I concluded that I have made connections with such a diverse range of people of all ages and cultural backgrounds through my IG likes, and that any common obsessions are what provide that initial connection.  Michelle says; ‘It’s surely how we present these things (we have in common) rather than the act of participation that makes us unique.’…. Beyond that, we ladies of ripe age are such an individual and feisty bunch, I would not DARE to  suggest the word cliche - or indeed, the topic of my book - invisibility, without hearing screams of righteous indignation and derision spinning around the planet! 

                                                    💋 Shine on Luscious Ripe Ladies💋

The Invisibility Myth part 5-Be the heroine of your own adventure

➨I am more & more aware that soon we will be the elder states persons in our lives…

  ➨ So, my project is gathering momentum.  I had the honour of doing the first, virgin fresh interview for my fledgling book; The Invisibility Myth the other day. I deliberately sought out someone I had no history with, a new friend (as I now like to think of her), so I had no pre-conceived notions of what she would say to me.

   ➨London that day was sporting a spectacular coat of spring blossom, full of optimism and possibility, which perfectly echoed my mood. I was en route from the west to the north side of town, to meet ‘C’ as I will call her for now.  A wonderful woman who will be 63years old this year, so well within my chosen demographic for research.  She is brim full of vim and vigor, honesty, opinions, wisdom, insight, creativity. Getting on with being the heroine in her own life;

Unapologetically the sum of her accumulated years of experience;  an ever evolving kaleidoscope of a life lived and living in colour,  with few shades of grey.  During the interview, as she referenced a time when a number of people she was close to had passed away, she said the words; ‘I was surrounded by more ghosts than people’,….WOWSA ….It started me thinking that soon WE who still consider ourselves (in our heads)  to be youthful and with so much yet to say/do/be, will inevitably have to take on the crown of the elder states persons in our own lives.  A sobering thought. I’m not yet ready for this, I don’t feel old, wise or mature enough!  

   ➨As I record ‘C’ picking out questions from my list to answer, it becomes abundantly clear to me that there is no singular experience of all women. We assume so many roles in our individual lives, but perhaps the most important role we play is  that of nurturing empowerment in other women to do/be/evolve into what best suits them.  We also have a wider responsibility to the tender young women in our lives. So much of my dialogue with ‘C’ revolved around these topics.

 We should fill them with positive affirmation and assurance that it will all be ok, because despite all that has happened to us - the older women - in our individual life adventures, we have survived. The future will be chock full of possibilities for them, despite all those insecurities being driven by crazy hormones.  I am reminded of Caitlin Moran’s  heartbreaking open letter to the young women she encounters at her book signings, its from her book; Moranifesto.  I’m picking out a tiny quote:-  “Know that you were not born scared and self-loathing and overwhelmed. Things have been done - which means things can be undone.  It is hard work. But what you must do right now, and for the rest of your life, is learn how to build a girl. You.”……

The full piece catapulted me back to my own youth - the conflicting feelings and emotional insecurities.  The promise I made to myself to always remember those physical feelings, even though the detail would be lost in time, so that I could support others. I laugh to myself when I think how badly as an adult I dealt with some of the more extreme teen behaviour of my own offspring….My excuse being that I was peri-menopausal at the time…….Oh well, we are human after all…… 

   ➨We grow, we bloom, absorbing what is around us.  We keep on blooming - or should do - until we complete the cycle of life/death/rebirth and embark on the next adventure.  I don’t know about you, but this thought has sure as hell comforted me in my ‘dark night of the soul’ moments…..Still does.

 ➨Recently, I paused my day of to chat with two old guys - ordinary, extraordinary elders from my London street.

They were born in 1933 and 1929, making them 84 and 88 years old and they always, always have great life affirming stories to share.  The younger one was having difficulty remembering  details, but the other is as active mentally and physically (within reason- he is older than god!) as he always has been.

Guyanese Eric and Jessica Huntley  founded a radical publishing business called The Bogle L’Ouverture Press in 1968 from their house, which is only slightly quieter now that Jessica his beloved wife has passed away.  Life was anything but easy for them back in 1970’s London when they arrived separately to pursue their passion. The title of their autobiography; “Doing Nothing is Not an Option” says it all about their life principle. Their home is a revolving door of people of all ages and races seeking out the company of Jessica and Eric, wanting to be inspired by their stories and wisdom.  Go to’s for advice, education, comfort and occasionally a good telling off! To me they are icons of their age. The epitome of the “extraordinary ordinary”.  My life is undoubtedly enriched from having them as neighbours and friends.  I must ask them who they look up to……

    ➨Apropo of nothing in particular, my man was 59 a few days ago. I will be 61 this year…..

Am I/we ready to grow up and be elder states persons?  Not really.

Am I/we wiser?  A bit, not much.

Am i/we evolving?  Sure are - just not sure in what way! 

Be kind humans.....Don't forget to be your own heroine.

Love and Peace.

The Invisibility Myth Part 3

❤....Another day another altered state. The mind blows so many emotions around in a tornado of challenges. Who is this person looking back at my stripped bare face from the steam clouded mirror in the bathroom, hair on end, the errant remains of yesterdays makeup smeared down my face?....I kind of know her….Been kicking around since oooh 1956...

➨Face says 60.

➨Brain says 30.

The battle rages - Not between me and my brain, I know myself, there are no more illusions - but between me and the media image of my 60 year old self.  I’m thinking of a few poster queens: The surgically enhanced, photo-shopped Kardashianesque types.  The Theresa May school prefect and captain of the hockey team, glass ceiling busting hard-arse types.  The actress/musician/model verbalising their mid-life crises by bemoaning the lack of roles for older women, whilst nip/tucking/lifting/botoxing to ridiculous extremes.  Is this really something we want to aspire to in order to be visible? I personally try to venture out without being hyper-aware of my age and just approach the world with an open mind and heart. I endeavor to out manoeuvre the script dictators and stick to dancing to the soundtrack of my own life, continue to evolve from within my chosen colourful tribe. It’s fun to dress up, make the most of myself and promenade like the exotic, wisdom filled old bird I like to think I am. I strive to encourage and empower everyone I encounter to stop making excuses and say yes, yes, YES, rather than 'no' or 'maybe' whenever the opportunity arises to have fun.

Spitalfields Colour walk with an awesome bunch of creative people..

❤I’m convinced that we are more interested in seeing and being inspired by examples to emulate, from the ordinary extraordinary non-celeb older women who, like me, have been cracking on with this life thing since time.  After all, we are freer to do so than at any other time in our history.  We have been messily attempting and succeeding in doing it our own way, since we were old enough to customise our school uniforms and forge a fake ID, and the stories are often comedy gold….and lets not forget, laughter and sex is good for the health!

❤So what keeps us in the closet?

Who says we vanish from view post 50?

❤We simply don’t.  It just suits a whole load of other people’s agendas, when and if we buy into the hype that spawns a whole industry of pills, potions, surgery and dependence. Regardless of age or sex, one can find a virtually inexhaustible supply of people who will be happy to make you feel badly about yourself if you let them. Why would we give anyone that much power over us?

❤The mainstream media/advertising industry, for some reason are failing to see the rising tide of a more visible than ever generation of older women.  Once they believe that it's financially advantageous to promote a positive image of us golden oldies - BOOM – we will go public in a big and hopefully enlightened way.  The current refusal to acknowledge the worth, beauty and sexuality of us post-menopausal women is their financial loss in my opinion. There is nothing stopping a revolutionary shift in mainstream exposure other than our demanding of it – if indeed that is what we do want. We are free and empowered to make those choices.

❤In the interests of research, I impetuously filled in an online advertisement for models of all ages and sizes required. I was confident in my belief that when they saw my age and photo they would not get back to me.  They did.  Eek. I decided to be truthful with the phone interviewer about my motivation - ie; seeking research material to prove my invisibility and the media theory for my book; The Invisibility Myth.  Surprisingly, amusingly gob-smacked, I am invited in for a photo shoot.  Double eek!

Showered, blank canvas - ish.....

❤Sooooo,  yesterday I rocked up at the photographic studio in Marylebone, London.  Fresh faced as requested (apart from my lippy – I feel naked without it!), with a suitcase full of “looks” trawled from my wardrobe for potential portfolio/agency photographs.  You know what? Not going to lie, I had a blast, despite my reservations.  Oh the joy of having someone else do the hair, the makeup.... the preening!  The only vaguely uncomfortable moment was having my waist size taken (no comment!).  I have posted some of the un-retouched photos on this blog, because I am proud of the me they show. Plus, the opportunity it afforded me, to chat to the young women who work there and those coming and going, about research for my book, and experience the less than glam reality of the selection process of potential models from 3 to 60, was both fascinating and enlightening. 

I have never looked this glam!

I felt nothing but huge respect for the courage and determination of young people who decide that a career in the media spotlight is their calling in life.  My own agenda was different, therefore being seen as a potential older model at the end of the shoot was an amusing and unexpected bonus. When and if, the agency concerned actually translates what happened with me yesterday into paying work, we shall see.  I shall look past any hype and have fodder for my book regardless.  Yesterday’s shenanigans may see my un-botoxed, unsnapped and nipped 60 year old face and body off on a whole new adventure, pioneering the glam older woman look into a more mainstream acceptance – squee!!!  Who knows? Stranger things have happened.

The gold shoes had another outing...

❤Just call me Helen for now – that’s Helen Mirren – Now THERE'S a glam babe….But she’s mainstream, therefore outside my chosen remit….

However, if anyone fancies making a film of my life, I always wanted her to play me…..in the absence of the real me of course .... And quite honestly that real me ain't aiming on going anywhere invisible in the foreseeable future...Accompanied by my freedom pass of course... 

                                                   💋I am ever the optimist.💋

                                                           Love in abundance.