The Invisibility Myth part 9: The canvas of my own life

➨60 years of time has slipped away, both real and imagined.  My life canvas is a work in progress, now entwined with The Invisibility Myth.  Third coffee of the day drunk and replenished. I am parked in the welcome shade of an ancient maple tree in  France, newly emerged from the blancmange-type fug that has enveloped me on and off for the past week or so. The only harassment comes from a couple of money spiders cruising around my chair, insisting on using my arms as part of their trail, oh and the occasional tortoiseshell butterfly landing on me to fan itself away from the growing heat…. 

I'm gathering my thoughts about us humans - specifically, where i'm currently at as a woman. Sorry if this all sounds a bit me, me, me, but sometimes I find it’s good to share and vent!  

➨As usual with me, the struggle is real to find a thread... 

I’m drawn to the opening line of Patti Smith’s M Train, which reads; ‘It’s not so easy writing about nothing’. Patti is not someone I would believe could ever be at a loss for words, but clearly even my heroines have creative hiccoughs and lack of direction on occasions, which is comforting music to my ears!  She writes at such times in painterly detail about the minutiae of her life:  feeding her cats, hastily dressing to walk to her preferred NYC cafe, her regular order she places of coffee, brown toast, olive oil.  So intimate it’s easy to feel that I know her.  I metaphorically walk alongside her words in M Train, a complete stranger, a voyeur observing and imagining her life.  This is what I seek and enjoy most from interaction with my fellow humans - the detail.  Honesty and detail is what I crave, my key to connecting and understanding the motivation of the extraordinary ordinary human existence.

➨I embrace every opportunity to meet new people, however i’m coming to feel that in new social situations I should wear a badge bearing the words: ‘FUCK THE SMALL TALK, SHOW ME YOUR SOUL!’  I want to know how people see and interact with the world, not just what they do as a day job climbing up the monetary greasy pole (unless it’s relevant to the conversation of course).  Bit much do you think?  Bit intimidating? Bit off-putting? I know, I know, it isn’t that easy for some people to dive straight in - but I am good at encouraging and listening, plus I am genuinely interested…..Truth is, my 60 year old self has less and less tolerance of every day, barely polite small talk, but my interest in observing and endeavouring to understand us humans is growing.  Please, please forgive me. Cut me some aged-related slack, I cannot help it if my mind wanders off when faced with polite insincerity, thinking about my next man and dog/cat snuggle with coffee or vodka and tonic  in hand…(hmmm-mint/cucumber or citron garnish?) ...  Bombard me with a bit of the real, unexpurgated ‘real you’ and you will have my undivided attention!!

➨The reverse dilemma is the internal agony I experience when a new acquaintance asks me the standard, stock question; “And what do you do?”…

Well, how long have you got? We are talking sixty years here after all... 

Past?  Present?  Future?.. 

Do you really give a rats arse?..

Sometimes there’s a sense that I have only a couple of minutes max to hit the right chord, before the questioner glazes over, starts to panic and their eyes wander round the room for a get-out-of-jail-free card! Not everybody wants to have a real conversation straight off the bat it seems…

In my twenties this would have bothered me.  Now I find I am either indifferent or vaguely irritated…

➨According to marketing agency SuperHuman - yes marketing - you know, the business that is paid to tell us what we already know we are doing/feeling, but want to see what field of monetary exploitation is to be had from us,  found in a study of 500 women that 80 per cent felt society’s assumptions about middle aged women do not represent how they live their lives, but while older celebrities and models are more visible than ever before in adverts, older women in general still feel ignored……..At odds with the same article that labels us no-age barrier 'Perennials who are ever blooming, relevant people of all ages who know what’s happening in the world, stay current with technology and have friends of all ages. We are involved, curious mentors of others, who are passionate, compassionate, creative, confident, collaborative, global-minded risk takers.’  WOW - aren’t we the awesomest! Now, this is worth a chewing over don’t you think?…..Any takers?  Or are you glazing over in a confused mind-fuck of mixed messages?  Does this wanting to get straight to the things that matter to me make me a body-swerve sort of guest?  Should we of a certain age be content with conversing about that magnificent obsession of oldies past of death, disease and the lavatory? Or should I just shut the **ck up?  Yeah but no but, that isn't going to happen with my generation...  I think we all need to get out and shout our lack of invisibility more and more in the interests of research and clarification…..

➨Truth to tell, the reason for this particular outpouring,  is that I have been spending way too much time beside hospital beds in the past year.  The hours/days i’ve spent observing and listening to the comings and goings in A & E and Elderly Care Wards, has galvanised my awareness of making the most of what is important to me while I am able.  My accumulated passions and beliefs matter to me, as does leaving behind a truthful, honest legacy of who and what I am. I feel the need to bathe in joy and soak away the pain whenever possible between now and - frankly, who knows when.

➨Right, who is inviting me my big heart and opinionated gob round to theirs for a chin-wag then?💋

The Invisibility Myth part 8 What's Taboo for you?

Taboo: Noun.“A social or religious custom prohibiting or restricting a particular practice or forbidding association with a particular person, place or thing.” 

    ➨I’m thinking around what is taboo in our modern society. There is nothing we cannot have instant, direct access to via the internet for clarification, gratification or therapy and I cannot think of many topics that have arisen in my own life that I haven’t chewed over with friends/family/strangers on a train/bus/plane at some point…My offspring even think the My Dad Wrote a Porno podcasts are hilariously brilliant…(FYI - my kids Pa didn’t write it, someone else did - and has attracted a degree of fame and money by so doing.)  Can’t imagine my generation knowing about, let alone recording their Pater’s dodgy stories..at least not without social services getting involved…

   ➨I’m curious about this, as I’m shortly to be attending an event via The Advantages of Age. It is labelled; Taboo Night and part of the evening will involve a Tabooathon where guests will be invited to share and tell…..Well, heres the thing; Gobby, opinionated me is struggling with the concept! 

shy, retiring moi

What will I be compelled to spill out on the night?  I know I will, because I cannot body swerve a microphone… I’m a 70’s Turn on, Tune in and Drop Out (thanks Timothy Leary) kinda gal. However, even though I think of myself as one of the most liberal people I know, I find myself cringing just a bit at the thought….Are the topics that come to my mind taboo because I am uncomfortable sharing them? Is it an age thing? 

Standard night out

 Or are my thoughts even really worthy of the taboo tag? One persons taboo it would appear, is another’s beige walls…Hmm. 

 

   ➨Months ago when I was thinking around the concept of my book The Invisibility Myth, I wrote in my blog that sex sells….and we know it does….So, I was not altogether surprised when the first association that came into my head with the 'T' word was all things sex linked, with a spattering of deviancy thrown in for good measure. Heres a few examples… It’s not my personal taste, but thoughts of our local Hanwell Dominatrix immediately sprung to mind… so suburban, but so extreme in her practices - or are they? She kindly and matter-of-factly points out the closeness of our local hospital on her website, just in case…In case of what?  Gerbils - yeah that one had passed me by before training to be a (failed as it happens) Samaritan. It came up on the list of sexual preferences the Samaritans get phonecalls about…

And only this morning my man casually mentioned over coffee, women putting ground up wasp’s nests into their vaginas to tighten them up - google it if you don’t believe me… Howsabout Yo-Yo’s? - No, not the toy - its a Japanese sex speciality…I discovered it back in the days of dial-up internet when searching for new tricks my kids could do with their oh so innocent toy.  

Maybe i’ll just talk about food…oh wait, theres a huuuuuuge sexual niche for that one. In fact, there seems to be a sexual connection to be made to any word you come up with.  

Taboo is maybe about NOT talking, but staying silent? Like the women of the new world order in The Handmaids Tale.  Nope. There is a whole industry revolving around that too…Oh well…Viagra? Dry vag? Bondage (Up Yours)? Sex and the older generation? Fisting? Voyeurism? Dogging? Swinging? Religion?

Incontinence? Death? Not being bothered with any of it and preferring a cup of tea? There is a sexual niche for just about EVERYTHING - I know this to be the case cos I googled extensively in the interests of research and i’m still non the wiser about what to grab that microphone to show and tell… Sausage sandwich anyone?

 

The Invisibility Myth part 7 - Warrior Women!

                                                         💫We are Warrior Women!💫

A Lesson in whipping technique - as you do......

  ➨"This is an emerging generation unlike any in history.  Not only is it the wealthiest and the most storied, it is also the first generation to reach mid-life and believe that they are only half way though”

David Harry Stewart, Ageist.   

YES WE ARE! 

  ➨ I have been contacting people all over the global village, asking them to answer the same dozen life questions I have carefully crafted for my Invisibility Myth project.  Most of the women are unknown to me, other than by their Instagram feeds, word of mouth, or contacts via friends and family. As the responses ping into my inbox, I realise what a huge leap of faith and trust I am expecting from these women.  My goodness, what warrior’s!!! 

➨Their answers have been nakedly honest and give hints to what adversity they have been through in their lives in order to arrive at where they are post fifty.   I am in awe observing these ordinary extraordinary women simply cracking on with their multi-tasking lives.  Seeing their positivity and willingness to embrace so much more in mid-life than our grandparents generation did in their entire lives. I am witnessing the variety of indomitable strength of character and humour shining through each and every set of answers. I am really excited at the prospect of sharing them on my website: theinvisibilitymyth.com very soon now, so that I can add to the debate of the mid life invisibility theory….

  ➨ I suddenly realised that I haven’t answered the questions myself that I have been posting to other women. I have now, and by so doing I am aware how different those questions look from the perspective of interviewee rather than interviewer.  To be honest I found out a couple of well buried things about myself. By letting my responses flow from my heart, stuff came through that I was unaware of feeling in any depth. It proves (if indeed it needs to be) that we are never to old to learn, especially about ourselves……..

 

Interesting comment

     ➨I spend a lot of time at the moment on social media, in the interests of *coughs* - research…Yeah, like its not my daily/nightly obsession anyway….So, I took a momentary pause for thought after reading  this interesting ladies’ Lifestyle blog; thebarefacedchic.co.uk  Cardiff based Michelle Lyndon-Dykes wonders in her ‘Are all bloggers turning into a cliche?’ post, whether we are effectively slaves to the machine driving algorhythms feeding us what they think we like. According to the media, marketing companies know us better than we know ourselves…… I concluded that I have made connections with such a diverse range of people of all ages and cultural backgrounds through my IG likes, and that any common obsessions are what provide that initial connection.  Michelle says; ‘It’s surely how we present these things (we have in common) rather than the act of participation that makes us unique.’…. Beyond that, we ladies of ripe age are such an individual and feisty bunch, I would not DARE to  suggest the word cliche - or indeed, the topic of my book - invisibility, without hearing screams of righteous indignation and derision spinning around the planet! 

                                                    💋 Shine on Luscious Ripe Ladies💋

A la carte approach to reality. The Invisibility Myth part 6

  

➨After riding on a mini wave of joy at having a little article about The Invisibility Myth published in a brilliant online magazine: The Advantages of Age, http://advantagesofage.com/60-visible-fuck-invisibility-myth/ this past week could have been a ‘meh’ kind of time, as I went a bit off the creative boil.  Instead I have filled the time with masses of necessary, long abandoned (*resentful) practicality (*sighs).  Much more importantly, i've also taken some time to spend simply hanging with my friends. My saviours, my cheerleaders, my gang.  The people I can be ‘me’ with. The people who keep me grounded and uplifted and who are not afraid to tell it like it is, who care to come find me when i’m lost. Without them I would not be the whole person I am today. Experience has shown me that there are many different ‘chapters’ within my ever evolving gang;-

Advantages of Age article.

  ➨ The core group going waaaay back in time.  They have long dispersed around the globe following their own adventures, but when we find ourselves on each others shores and our paths cross for delicious, snatched catch-up times there is an unbreakable bond of shared history. 

   ➨There are the friends and neighbours local to where I live, who are like extended family with whom I trust the daily internal machinations of my crazy life and emotional ups and downs.  The ones I know I can call in the middle of the night for help and they are knocking on my door before I have finished my sentence.

   ➨The ones who are like the social butterflies in my life, who flit in and out and are always entertaining and uplifting.  They leave me feeling so enriched by having been in their presence, whilst often having no idea when or where I will see them again, but I kinda know I will, and there is a comfort and mutual understanding within this, that is good enough.

  ➨ The new blood; people I randomly connect with when socialising or travelling. I love the exciting injection of ideas, challenges, concepts, possibilities. The frisson of new relationships extending into the future, working with the theory that less is dull, more is always good. An intense exchange during a journey can be strangely enlightening and enriching, even though I will never see that person again. I think it’s a need for human connection kinda thang within me…..

   ➨ My Famalam.  The reason I breathe.

   ➨Last, and least; the frenemies, that you eject asap…Nuff said.

    ➨Against the aforementioned backdrop of self-imposed but productive creativity, gossip and general displacement activity, (I am uber good at the gd activity-I would venture to say I am a perfectionist) I have been waiting for feedback and - ahem - dare I say it - support from the commercial sector with whom I occasionally rub shoulders.  The photo shoot I documented in a previous posting has fizzled.  The enthusiastic and sincere promises made to me on that mid-March day-ones I was at pains to tell the company concerned, I was not originally seeking out, have not yet been realised.  In fact, until I emailed to ask what was happening with my account, there had been zero communication.  I was asked to contact them for an ‘aftercare telephone appointment’, which I duly did and had no reply….OK, this photo shoot was not for my chosen career path and was originally undertaken as research for my book The Invisibility Myth, but really, how cynical it is to have been sold a potential lie, instead of the unvarnished truth.

I made the decision to be honest and transparent on that day, and they acted like they loved the Invisibility concept. How bugging to feel the sting of disappointment - even if I wasn’t  seeking what they offered anyway…On the plus side, I have a brilliant set of professional photos for my own publicity use, so the cup is overall half-full. In order to keep up, you may have to read previous posts for clarity!  I am not good in defeat, even though I am always determined to rise above it, but will never accept a a la carte approach to reality in any sector of my life…Acting with honour is a biggie with me, and I expect - nay demand it in return…

  ➨Hearing Rudyard Kipling in my head...you can just If off Sir!!!!!!!:-

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all (wo)men doubt you, 

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, 

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, 

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise: 

If you can dream—and not make dreams your (mistress)master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster 

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken 

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, 

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools: 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings 

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, 

And lose, and start again at your beginnings 

    And never breathe a word about your loss; 

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you 

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ 

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings(Queens)—nor lose the common touch, 

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, 

    If all (wo)men count with you, but none too much; 

If you can fill the unforgiving minute 

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a (Wo)Man, my (daughter)son

   ➨Yeah right - idealised, neat theory.  All this serves to do is make me stay focused and be extra sparkly, with a mere hint, a mere drizzle of irritation creeping around the periphery. 

   ➨Much better to mutter the following while licking my (very small) wound:-

💜You torment yourself wondering

 how they could not love your

 Burning heart 

and the answer is darling,

You are not the star

you thought you were

You are the fucking universe

and not everyone is an astronaut.💜

   ➨Hell-to-the-yesssssss.  No idea who to credit for these fine words, but it lifts me right back up to fly with the eagles…..Golden ones naturally, sipping fizz and dancing the Watusi before takeoff.

   ➨Anyhow, in the great scheme of my Invisibility Myth theory, does this little knock back make me feel invisible? No. Not even on a bad day.  It reminds me that shit happens. Would it make you feel invisible?  I hope not. This colourful life needs your smiles.

   ➨Oh yeah, not long till my website will be running, so I can share all the wonderful stories and photos i'm gathering.  It would appear that I am in the very zeitgeist of a new movement. 

   ➨Think I need to stop now….

💜Peace and Loveage Beautiful Humans.💜

What unadorned, sun kissed 60 really looks like!

A friend describes Jeanie as an adventurer of the heart and mind. A 60 year old with a lust for life, she is a mother, decorative artist, designer, traveller, Airbnb host and ex-restaurateur. Currently she is studying a Humanities Degree, having self-educated since leaving school at 16 and working on a book; The Invisibility Myth, exploring how extraordinary ordinary older women see themselves in the 21st century. 

She lives in West London and France with her husband, boomeranging children and a variety of other animals.

Chairman Jeanie philosophy

                                                   

The Invisibility Myth part 5-Be the heroine of your own adventure

➨I am more & more aware that soon we will be the elder states persons in our lives…

  ➨ So, my project is gathering momentum.  I had the honour of doing the first, virgin fresh interview for my fledgling book; The Invisibility Myth the other day. I deliberately sought out someone I had no history with, a new friend (as I now like to think of her), so I had no pre-conceived notions of what she would say to me.

   ➨London that day was sporting a spectacular coat of spring blossom, full of optimism and possibility, which perfectly echoed my mood. I was en route from the west to the north side of town, to meet ‘C’ as I will call her for now.  A wonderful woman who will be 63years old this year, so well within my chosen demographic for research.  She is brim full of vim and vigor, honesty, opinions, wisdom, insight, creativity. Getting on with being the heroine in her own life;

Unapologetically the sum of her accumulated years of experience;  an ever evolving kaleidoscope of a life lived and living in colour,  with few shades of grey.  During the interview, as she referenced a time when a number of people she was close to had passed away, she said the words; ‘I was surrounded by more ghosts than people’,….WOWSA ….It started me thinking that soon WE who still consider ourselves (in our heads)  to be youthful and with so much yet to say/do/be, will inevitably have to take on the crown of the elder states persons in our own lives.  A sobering thought. I’m not yet ready for this, I don’t feel old, wise or mature enough!  

   ➨As I record ‘C’ picking out questions from my list to answer, it becomes abundantly clear to me that there is no singular experience of all women. We assume so many roles in our individual lives, but perhaps the most important role we play is  that of nurturing empowerment in other women to do/be/evolve into what best suits them.  We also have a wider responsibility to the tender young women in our lives. So much of my dialogue with ‘C’ revolved around these topics.

 We should fill them with positive affirmation and assurance that it will all be ok, because despite all that has happened to us - the older women - in our individual life adventures, we have survived. The future will be chock full of possibilities for them, despite all those insecurities being driven by crazy hormones.  I am reminded of Caitlin Moran’s  heartbreaking open letter to the young women she encounters at her book signings, its from her book; Moranifesto.  I’m picking out a tiny quote:-  “Know that you were not born scared and self-loathing and overwhelmed. Things have been done - which means things can be undone.  It is hard work. But what you must do right now, and for the rest of your life, is learn how to build a girl. You.”……

The full piece catapulted me back to my own youth - the conflicting feelings and emotional insecurities.  The promise I made to myself to always remember those physical feelings, even though the detail would be lost in time, so that I could support others. I laugh to myself when I think how badly as an adult I dealt with some of the more extreme teen behaviour of my own offspring….My excuse being that I was peri-menopausal at the time…….Oh well, we are human after all…… 

   ➨We grow, we bloom, absorbing what is around us.  We keep on blooming - or should do - until we complete the cycle of life/death/rebirth and embark on the next adventure.  I don’t know about you, but this thought has sure as hell comforted me in my ‘dark night of the soul’ moments…..Still does.

 ➨Recently, I paused my day of to chat with two old guys - ordinary, extraordinary elders from my London street.

They were born in 1933 and 1929, making them 84 and 88 years old and they always, always have great life affirming stories to share.  The younger one was having difficulty remembering  details, but the other is as active mentally and physically (within reason- he is older than god!) as he always has been.

Guyanese Eric and Jessica Huntley  founded a radical publishing business called The Bogle L’Ouverture Press in 1968 from their house, which is only slightly quieter now that Jessica his beloved wife has passed away.  Life was anything but easy for them back in 1970’s London when they arrived separately to pursue their passion. The title of their autobiography; “Doing Nothing is Not an Option” says it all about their life principle. Their home is a revolving door of people of all ages and races seeking out the company of Jessica and Eric, wanting to be inspired by their stories and wisdom.  Go to’s for advice, education, comfort and occasionally a good telling off! To me they are icons of their age. The epitome of the “extraordinary ordinary”.  My life is undoubtedly enriched from having them as neighbours and friends.  I must ask them who they look up to……

    ➨Apropo of nothing in particular, my man was 59 a few days ago. I will be 61 this year…..

Am I/we ready to grow up and be elder states persons?  Not really.

Am I/we wiser?  A bit, not much.

Am i/we evolving?  Sure are - just not sure in what way! 

Be kind humans.....Don't forget to be your own heroine.

Love and Peace.

The Invisibility Myth part 4. Now for the real work

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn't matter.” —Mark Twain. 

   My final night shift in the homeless shelter for 2017 (perfect volunteer work for the insomniacs among us) and my mind is buzzing with an avalanche of thoughts and ideas I need to give form to.

Last night my daughter’s boyfriend created my web domain; theinvisibilitymyth.com, so now the real work begins to get this book writing show on the road. I am starting to gather interviews with some of the extraordinary ordinary women I am encountering on this journey.  I will start to form and paint the website with stories and photographs and ultimately create and publish a book that will inspire and celebrate the real lives of us women; who we are, where we have come from, where we are headed.  A celebration of lives lived, experiences shared. Mutual empowerment….. I’m exciting myself here!

   So, i’m reaching out, asking you to email me at; jeanielovesart@gmail.com if you would like to share. I would absolutely LOVE to hear from you if you do, and promise to get back to you.  The idea is for you to answer a set list of 20 questions that will tell a short version of your life - life stories of you extraordinary ordinary women’s adventures to add to my own.  Preferably I would like you to be post 50, but i’m open to hear you all!…. 

   Why am I doing this?  

   I'm glad you asked... 

Here's the thing; At 50 I woke up as if from a dream state.  For 10 years I had been what is now recognised as peri-menopausal.  Functioning for periods of time in a foggy grey bubble of un-reality, which I found it imposssible to get the medical profession to properly diagnose.  I believed I had become invisible - to myself and to the world.  This was SO not like me.  Every now and then I would have periods of relative "normality", but always ended up back in the bubble. Waves of hormones and mood swings made me unpredictable company.  I want to stress that this was NOT people making me feel this way, it was something organic dwelling within me.  A hormonally driven craziness that made me feel as if I were not really here.  Around my 50th birthday the greyness and fog lifted.  It was like a re-birth of sorts.  I dwelt comfortably once more in my old skin and partied for my 50th birthday like it was - erm - 2006…..Time to move on with life in real time, not dream time.  I have been making up for that lost time for the past 10 years.

   Self-image interests me, so I am drawn to delve into the credibility or otherwise of the ‘invisibility’ card. I recently read of a woman saying:  “Age, I now realise doesn’t creep up, it fells you with changes you didn’t see coming.  And it happens at 50.  You vanish, replaced by an old and forgettable woman”. ????? Seriously????? I remind myself what is being put out there by re-visiting feminist writer Naomi Wolf in her book ‘The Beauty Myth”.  Her reasoning is cultural, systemic and makes for depressing reading. Thankfully,  most of us women are too busy getting on with our lives, to get bogged down in the detail in the book of the demands of the so called patriarchy. I do not want to give oxygen to this myth, and here’s why;  It’s all in our individual heads….Put there by years of conditioning and experiences. We need to let it go. In order to be the person I am today, I have had to let go of a veritable Trump Tower full of accumulated baggage.  The truth is that women in the western world are freer than ever to celebrate being the women we want to be in 2017 and we seem to be blind to it.  The 1st rule should be that we give ourselves permission to really feel beautiful from deep within and foster a strong personal identity. We are being complicit in our own downfall by harsh self-judgment and criticism of ourselves and each other. The title of Norah Ephrons book: I feel Bad About My Neck, is an honest, funny account of ageing, but the title says much about our default tendency to see ourselves in a negative, concerning light. My accumulated 60 years experience of living, feels so unfettered now, compared to the winging it of my youth.  The more natural, home spun self confidence age has brought me is no longer the unwieldy, unpredictable, misunderstood tool it once was. It sits comfortably with me as I feel the power age and wisdom has conferred. My post menopausal sexiness if you like, is now in the form of that confidence, not in obsessing about the need to seek plastic surgery for (among other things) - vaginal rejuvenation - who does that other than accident victims? I know I am 60.  I own it.  It walks with me on my cranky knees ffs!

Nasty bitching about a woman - oh - by a woman....

   Who, in the main are the advertising copy writers, the editors/writers of the fashion magazines???? - yes - WOMEN. Powerful women in charge of a multi-million pound business. Women who decide what to validate or knock down.  What to give us overt permission through their tag lines to do/be/say. It is a form of bullying to my mind.  Ladies we need to stop feeding this judging of one another.  We all do it and it needs to stop. Period. Be who you want to be.  Empower and allow others to do likewise…It’s not a competition- or shouldn’t be. There is no prize. However, there is a goal; - Self worth. Self-respect. Happiness. Positive connection with the human race, positive role-models for our daughters and younger women. We are the keepers of a hot, hot flame!

What a sad, sad viewpoint to buy into.....

…..If perchance you do choose to buy into some of this ‘older women are invisible’ malarky, maybe shoplifting is a good choice of career for you….If salespersons do ignore you…well, those goodies could find their way into your bag and out the door unobserved……Maybe you  could eat and drink in restaurants and leave without paying the bill…..Or book into expensive hotels and slope off in plain sight at the end of your stay unobserved…Just an idea….I’m not sure you'll find you are as invisible as you may think you are……..

Nice to see the press occasionally validating  my beliefs...